Ugh, so mad at myself for missing yesterday!!
It was just SOOOO busy I couldn't stop to blog! It was a great day though!
Made some shirts BY MY SELF :), had a play day at the park with great friends, came home and cleaned the house with the help of a precious teenager, cooked Chili and then had precious friends over for dinner!!
It was a very blessed fun filled day.
Now it's Saturday and the fun continues!!!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Day 3
I so did NOT want to post today, but my blog was taunting me.... Saying, "it's only day three and you are already quitting??" You know, in that accusatory tone!!
So, here I am!
Today started off bad. I went to sleep about 3am because they were predicting "possible" severe weather. It will probably be a while before I can sleep through one of those weather reports again! I finally dragged myself out of bed at 8:30. Although had been awake since 7:30 with a precious three year old rolling all over me.
The kids totally take advantage of me when they know I'm tired. "Mommy, we're gonna go play outside so we don't bother you!" They're so giving an thoughtful!! Ha
We had a paint class today with this amazing South African lady in Moody. She is such a sweet Christian and teacher and SUPER talented! I'm attaching pictures of the kids paintings. They blew my mind!!
When we got home, the kids did there school for today and tomorrow because they didn't want to do school tomorrow! Oh the joys of homeschool. The only rules were it ALL had to be done and they had to work together. They finished about 2 hours ago. Worth it to them though!!
My afternoon got worse. Bad cramps and heart racing... (Which I am sure was caused by anxiety over the cramps) all normal I'm sure, but still no fun! Thankfully I put dinner in the crock pot this morning so that was done. Beef stew... Good stuff if you're not nauseous!
To top it all off, Sammy is making me watch some awful Star Trek movie from 1970 I think. OMW it's awful!!
So this is a pretty boring post. A journal entry more like it. Sorry, it's just been one of those days!
Sometimes, most times, I feel so guilty for all the comforts I take advantage of daily and that I am NOT being persecuted for being a Christian like nearly ALL of the New Testament books say we will be. But on days like today I am SO THANKFUL for these comforts and praise God for ALL the undeserved blessings I enjoy. I worry how long they will last and how in the world we will cope when they are taken from us.... But today, I am thankful!! So very thankful!!!!
Goodnight!!
So, here I am!
Today started off bad. I went to sleep about 3am because they were predicting "possible" severe weather. It will probably be a while before I can sleep through one of those weather reports again! I finally dragged myself out of bed at 8:30. Although had been awake since 7:30 with a precious three year old rolling all over me.
The kids totally take advantage of me when they know I'm tired. "Mommy, we're gonna go play outside so we don't bother you!" They're so giving an thoughtful!! Ha
We had a paint class today with this amazing South African lady in Moody. She is such a sweet Christian and teacher and SUPER talented! I'm attaching pictures of the kids paintings. They blew my mind!!
When we got home, the kids did there school for today and tomorrow because they didn't want to do school tomorrow! Oh the joys of homeschool. The only rules were it ALL had to be done and they had to work together. They finished about 2 hours ago. Worth it to them though!!
My afternoon got worse. Bad cramps and heart racing... (Which I am sure was caused by anxiety over the cramps) all normal I'm sure, but still no fun! Thankfully I put dinner in the crock pot this morning so that was done. Beef stew... Good stuff if you're not nauseous!
To top it all off, Sammy is making me watch some awful Star Trek movie from 1970 I think. OMW it's awful!!
So this is a pretty boring post. A journal entry more like it. Sorry, it's just been one of those days!
Sometimes, most times, I feel so guilty for all the comforts I take advantage of daily and that I am NOT being persecuted for being a Christian like nearly ALL of the New Testament books say we will be. But on days like today I am SO THANKFUL for these comforts and praise God for ALL the undeserved blessings I enjoy. I worry how long they will last and how in the world we will cope when they are taken from us.... But today, I am thankful!! So very thankful!!!!
Goodnight!!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Day 2....
Today I am so tired.... It has not been a productive day to say the least. I guess two days of energy in a row is too much to ask! Ha!
For those that read this and do not know, my sister and I own our own t-shirt business. I make shirts on Monday's and Wednesday's normally, but on occasion, I make them on Thursday or Friday too. I knew today was a shirt day so I rested extra this morning so I would have the energy to stand at the heat press for two hours. The business has been a blessing. It has supplemented income for us that we really need at times. Do I enjoy it? I'd hate to lie in my blog.... Let's just say, I am thankful for it! We make cute stuff so it's fun to see our creations when they are on the finished product...just getting there is not so fun! :) For the last few months, however, we have had a helper come and help me make shirts. That has been a LIFE SAVER!! On days she cannot come, I realize just what a blessing she is!! ;)
My kids have had good days the last couple of days. I know my attitude toward them affects their behavior. I made a point that every morning when we all get up, I will spend time hugging each one of them individually as long as they will let me. I will not break the hug, when they are done, they get up. It has been great! McKain hugs the tightest and for the longest. He melts my heart. He is so soft and loving on the inside. I cannot wait to see what kind of husband he is going to be.
Last night was my Bible study with my precious sisters in Christ, God in His grace has connected me with! We talked about so much. Their relationship is so vital in my walk. God is amazing in how he orchestrated our relationship and brought us together. I honestly do not know what I would do without them in this stage in my life. They literally sharpen me with God's Word, just like it says!
We talked about parenting. The question was asked, "How do kids understand the gospel when we have such a hard time understanding it? How do we truly and fully explain it to them?" I mentioned how I pray daily for my kids that God will reveal Himself to them. That they will realize their salvation is a journey, a wonderfully difficult journey that will last their entire lives. I want them to grasp that if they hold onto Jesus, He will never let go of them. I don't want them to misunderstand and think it is going to be easy, or that they will be perfect. One of my very wise friends shared a story of how one of her friends "parents". It was amazing. I have already used it today. Let me see if I can explain it in writing... (I am going to present it as a scenario that happened and maybe it will be easier to understand)
Samantha and McKain are playing. Samantha decides, she wants the toy McKain has, so she takes it. McKain retaliates by hitting Samantha. She hits him back. The fight is on. When it is finally brought to me, they are both wounded and crying. This is were the gospel comes in.... I ask Samantha, "Why did you take the toy?" She says, "Because I wanted it." (typically answer, but I am trying to get to the heart of it, the "sin") I say, "yes, but what inside you made you think you could just take it if you wanted it?" She reluctantly says, "selfishness". I ask, "What is selfishness?" She says, "A sin". I ask, "Samantha, why do we sin?" She answers, "Because we are sinners and we are not good." I ask, "Samantha, did God give us rules to show us how bad we are?" She answers, "Um, no?". I say, "You are right, then why did He give us so many rules?" She says, (as innocent and precious as anyone with child like faith), "To show us that we need Him." DING DING DING!! She got it!! I say, "Yes baby! That is why! That is what our sin reminds us of daily!! Not just that we are awful rotten sinners with no hope of being any better, but that we need SAVING!!" I asked her, "Samantha, who is our Savior? Who has rescued us from ourselves?" Without hesitation McKain belts out, "Jesus!" I told them both, "Every time you sin, I want you to be reminded of why you sin, because you need a Savior. I also want you to remember that you HAVE a Savior, one that never sinned. He has rescued us all from ourselves and our sin." "Don't let your sin only remind you of how awful you are, but of how WONDERFUL God is!!"
It was amazing! The way they saw it, the Gospel in action. Living it daily in their own little lives!! Thank you Jesus for the Gospel! Thank you for Saving us!
We must all remind ourselves of the Gospel daily!! We must die to ourselves daily, take up our cross daily and work out our own salvation with fear and trembling!! (Luke 9:23, I Corn 15:31, Phil 2:12)
Thank you for revelations of your amazing love God!!
For those that read this and do not know, my sister and I own our own t-shirt business. I make shirts on Monday's and Wednesday's normally, but on occasion, I make them on Thursday or Friday too. I knew today was a shirt day so I rested extra this morning so I would have the energy to stand at the heat press for two hours. The business has been a blessing. It has supplemented income for us that we really need at times. Do I enjoy it? I'd hate to lie in my blog.... Let's just say, I am thankful for it! We make cute stuff so it's fun to see our creations when they are on the finished product...just getting there is not so fun! :) For the last few months, however, we have had a helper come and help me make shirts. That has been a LIFE SAVER!! On days she cannot come, I realize just what a blessing she is!! ;)
My kids have had good days the last couple of days. I know my attitude toward them affects their behavior. I made a point that every morning when we all get up, I will spend time hugging each one of them individually as long as they will let me. I will not break the hug, when they are done, they get up. It has been great! McKain hugs the tightest and for the longest. He melts my heart. He is so soft and loving on the inside. I cannot wait to see what kind of husband he is going to be.
Last night was my Bible study with my precious sisters in Christ, God in His grace has connected me with! We talked about so much. Their relationship is so vital in my walk. God is amazing in how he orchestrated our relationship and brought us together. I honestly do not know what I would do without them in this stage in my life. They literally sharpen me with God's Word, just like it says!
We talked about parenting. The question was asked, "How do kids understand the gospel when we have such a hard time understanding it? How do we truly and fully explain it to them?" I mentioned how I pray daily for my kids that God will reveal Himself to them. That they will realize their salvation is a journey, a wonderfully difficult journey that will last their entire lives. I want them to grasp that if they hold onto Jesus, He will never let go of them. I don't want them to misunderstand and think it is going to be easy, or that they will be perfect. One of my very wise friends shared a story of how one of her friends "parents". It was amazing. I have already used it today. Let me see if I can explain it in writing... (I am going to present it as a scenario that happened and maybe it will be easier to understand)
Samantha and McKain are playing. Samantha decides, she wants the toy McKain has, so she takes it. McKain retaliates by hitting Samantha. She hits him back. The fight is on. When it is finally brought to me, they are both wounded and crying. This is were the gospel comes in.... I ask Samantha, "Why did you take the toy?" She says, "Because I wanted it." (typically answer, but I am trying to get to the heart of it, the "sin") I say, "yes, but what inside you made you think you could just take it if you wanted it?" She reluctantly says, "selfishness". I ask, "What is selfishness?" She says, "A sin". I ask, "Samantha, why do we sin?" She answers, "Because we are sinners and we are not good." I ask, "Samantha, did God give us rules to show us how bad we are?" She answers, "Um, no?". I say, "You are right, then why did He give us so many rules?" She says, (as innocent and precious as anyone with child like faith), "To show us that we need Him." DING DING DING!! She got it!! I say, "Yes baby! That is why! That is what our sin reminds us of daily!! Not just that we are awful rotten sinners with no hope of being any better, but that we need SAVING!!" I asked her, "Samantha, who is our Savior? Who has rescued us from ourselves?" Without hesitation McKain belts out, "Jesus!" I told them both, "Every time you sin, I want you to be reminded of why you sin, because you need a Savior. I also want you to remember that you HAVE a Savior, one that never sinned. He has rescued us all from ourselves and our sin." "Don't let your sin only remind you of how awful you are, but of how WONDERFUL God is!!"
It was amazing! The way they saw it, the Gospel in action. Living it daily in their own little lives!! Thank you Jesus for the Gospel! Thank you for Saving us!
We must all remind ourselves of the Gospel daily!! We must die to ourselves daily, take up our cross daily and work out our own salvation with fear and trembling!! (Luke 9:23, I Corn 15:31, Phil 2:12)
Thank you for revelations of your amazing love God!!
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
31 Post in 31 Days.... hahahaha
So, because everyone else is doing it... I thought I would give it a try. Thirty-one post in thirty-one days is going to be quite a challenge for me seeing as how I post once every 6 mths... but I'm gonna give it a go.
I'm not sure if every day will have a topic, or if it is just going to be a journal.
Today is definitely a journal day....
As I type it is 3:03 on Tuesday, Oct 16, 2012. I am being constantly interrupted by children who have not finished their school for the day because they decided to play the day away instead of do their work. That's fine with me, but they hate still doing school after 3 when as they say "Real school kids are done"..... Oh the beauty and joys of homeschool.
The last few weeks of home-school have been very rocky for us. We started out STRONG, but then precious miracle #4 appeared on the scene and decided to make me a WRECK!! I have been exhausted all the day, even with 12 hours of sleep, and nauseous all the time. For a couple of weeks, I had absolutely no appetite. I had to make myself eat and usually what I wanted was JUNK!! Thankfully my appetite has come back along with an ability to function at least 8 hours of the day. I still get very tired, but it's usually after lunch just for an hour or so and then at night around 7 or 8. That's workable!
Parker Wayne turned 3 yesterday. Where did the time go? I have really wanted to enjoy every single second of his babyhood because I feel like I missed so much of the other two's. I have been so blessed to be able to stay at home with him for most of his life and watch how God is developing him into exactly who He created him to be!! He is so articulate with his words. He told me Sunday, "Mom, I can det my tumb to hold down my pinky now, see". He was making the three symbol and was so proud of himself. It's like his brain is ahead of his body sometimes... He knows what he wants to do, he just cant get his body to cooperate. He has quit the passy and is, for the most part, potty trained. (both of these task he accomplished earlier than the other two) He loves to do school with us and ask everyday, even Saturday and Sunday, if he can "do school". He knows his colors and shapes and we are working on letters and numbers. He is great at coloring and even holds his pencil the correct way. He's been doing that for a couple of years. We are still not sure if he is going to be right or left handed as he still uses both for just about everything. He is definitely the joy of our family....can't wait to see how he is with our new blessing!! :)
Spiritually I am in a rut...I've been here for a few weeks now. You know, one of those "weeding out" times when you feel like God is pruning you. Taking out those things that He doesn't like and trying to replace them with more of Himself. (notice I say trying) There has to be some part of us that is willing. I think that has been the struggle, my unwillingness. It's not that consciously I do not want God to change me, because nothing could be further from the truth. But the things about me that He is changing are things that have been a part of who I am for as long as I can remember. Sorta like, "I don't know how to be anything else". I know in the end, God will win and I will be changed and be the better for it, but man is the process painful. These are the times when I feel so far away from Him. When I feel exposed and raw, like the whole world can see my sin because it is written all over me! Don't get me wrong, I am OH SO thankful for these times because 1.) It is proof that He has not given up on me and is STILL working, 2.) I become aware of things I had no idea of and get to watch Him change them and then in return see more of Him and His word, and 3.)There is a mountain-top in my future!! :) Boy are those mountain-tops grand!!
I am so thankful for a forgiving, loving God who has redeemed me back to Himself. I am thankful that the blinders have been taken off my eyes and I am allowed to see my sin and see the truth of who my Creator is. I hurt, deeply hurt, for those who are still blind. Especially for those who are blinded by false truth. The ones who think it is the religion and the practice of that religion that will save them. The ones who think what they are doing and have been doing is their salvation and really have no clue that they are as lost and the atheist debating about the existence of a god.
I am aware of my responsibility to the lost world as a follower of Christ. I am desperately seeking Him and how I can serve Him and my purpose. I beg Him daily to use me, right where I am, or to send me where He needs me. I do not want the blessing of serving Him in this life to pass me by. I want to do all I can for The ONE who gave it all for me.
We must be purposeful on our journey. We must not just live life as though pleasing ourselves and our children is all there is, when in actuality, it's not any of it. Happiness and joy should only come from One Source. This world can not give us anything compared to riches in our Savior. His Word says so.
(Rom 8:18)
That is all for today, until tomorrow....
I'm not sure if every day will have a topic, or if it is just going to be a journal.
Today is definitely a journal day....
As I type it is 3:03 on Tuesday, Oct 16, 2012. I am being constantly interrupted by children who have not finished their school for the day because they decided to play the day away instead of do their work. That's fine with me, but they hate still doing school after 3 when as they say "Real school kids are done"..... Oh the beauty and joys of homeschool.
The last few weeks of home-school have been very rocky for us. We started out STRONG, but then precious miracle #4 appeared on the scene and decided to make me a WRECK!! I have been exhausted all the day, even with 12 hours of sleep, and nauseous all the time. For a couple of weeks, I had absolutely no appetite. I had to make myself eat and usually what I wanted was JUNK!! Thankfully my appetite has come back along with an ability to function at least 8 hours of the day. I still get very tired, but it's usually after lunch just for an hour or so and then at night around 7 or 8. That's workable!
Parker Wayne turned 3 yesterday. Where did the time go? I have really wanted to enjoy every single second of his babyhood because I feel like I missed so much of the other two's. I have been so blessed to be able to stay at home with him for most of his life and watch how God is developing him into exactly who He created him to be!! He is so articulate with his words. He told me Sunday, "Mom, I can det my tumb to hold down my pinky now, see". He was making the three symbol and was so proud of himself. It's like his brain is ahead of his body sometimes... He knows what he wants to do, he just cant get his body to cooperate. He has quit the passy and is, for the most part, potty trained. (both of these task he accomplished earlier than the other two) He loves to do school with us and ask everyday, even Saturday and Sunday, if he can "do school". He knows his colors and shapes and we are working on letters and numbers. He is great at coloring and even holds his pencil the correct way. He's been doing that for a couple of years. We are still not sure if he is going to be right or left handed as he still uses both for just about everything. He is definitely the joy of our family....can't wait to see how he is with our new blessing!! :)
Spiritually I am in a rut...I've been here for a few weeks now. You know, one of those "weeding out" times when you feel like God is pruning you. Taking out those things that He doesn't like and trying to replace them with more of Himself. (notice I say trying) There has to be some part of us that is willing. I think that has been the struggle, my unwillingness. It's not that consciously I do not want God to change me, because nothing could be further from the truth. But the things about me that He is changing are things that have been a part of who I am for as long as I can remember. Sorta like, "I don't know how to be anything else". I know in the end, God will win and I will be changed and be the better for it, but man is the process painful. These are the times when I feel so far away from Him. When I feel exposed and raw, like the whole world can see my sin because it is written all over me! Don't get me wrong, I am OH SO thankful for these times because 1.) It is proof that He has not given up on me and is STILL working, 2.) I become aware of things I had no idea of and get to watch Him change them and then in return see more of Him and His word, and 3.)There is a mountain-top in my future!! :) Boy are those mountain-tops grand!!
I am so thankful for a forgiving, loving God who has redeemed me back to Himself. I am thankful that the blinders have been taken off my eyes and I am allowed to see my sin and see the truth of who my Creator is. I hurt, deeply hurt, for those who are still blind. Especially for those who are blinded by false truth. The ones who think it is the religion and the practice of that religion that will save them. The ones who think what they are doing and have been doing is their salvation and really have no clue that they are as lost and the atheist debating about the existence of a god.
I am aware of my responsibility to the lost world as a follower of Christ. I am desperately seeking Him and how I can serve Him and my purpose. I beg Him daily to use me, right where I am, or to send me where He needs me. I do not want the blessing of serving Him in this life to pass me by. I want to do all I can for The ONE who gave it all for me.
We must be purposeful on our journey. We must not just live life as though pleasing ourselves and our children is all there is, when in actuality, it's not any of it. Happiness and joy should only come from One Source. This world can not give us anything compared to riches in our Savior. His Word says so.
(Rom 8:18)
That is all for today, until tomorrow....
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
The last day of the vow and now....
I have been meaning to type this since Saturday night, but you know how life gets in the way.
I am going to be completely honest, day three was HARD!! I was getting on my own nerves with the whispering. My kids were constantly saying, "Mom, can you please just TALK to us?" Ha... There were a few "accidents" where I talked. One was at Family Christian Book store. I am not proud of the moment, and it was definitely an "aha" moment. I felt like when I got in the car God was saying, "and THAT is why I wanted you to take this vow". What was said is not a big deal, but the gist is that two ladies at the register where having a conversation, and without even THINKING about it, I interjected my two cents. (neither one of them asked, and then after I had my say, they both looked at me with the expression of, "who asked you?") When the moment was over, I was so ashamed. However, I got it. I saw the sin, and I learned from the situation. My opinion does not always have to heard. In fact, most of the time it doesn't. Unless someone has specifically asked for it and I have prayed about how to respond. So many times I think, "Oh, I really need to tell them what I think about this!" But truly, I don't. In fact, none of us do. The Bible only talks about using The Word for correction a few times, while it talks about "loving you neighbor" and "using your words for good" all throughout. I definitely worry too much about letting everyone know my OPINION and not enough about letting them know what God's word says! I do not always have to be talking just to talk.
I really do not believe I ever realized just how much of my sin revolved around my mouth. I know last blog I mentioned about "praising and cursing" coming out of the same mouth, and interrupting people while they are talking to me. This last day, laziness was another aspect that was brought to light. I didn't realize how much I "hollered" for people. "SAMANTHA, BRING ME _____." "MCKAIN, WHAT DID YOU SAY?" "PARKER, YOU BETTER COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!" What a lazy bones I am! Well, when you are taking a "vow of semi-silence", you cannot yell for people, so I had to get up ALOT!
I am walking away from this "vow" different. Maybe others can't see as much on the outside, but there is a big difference on the inside, and I know in time, it will work it's way out. I honestly wish I could still whisper. I cannot describe the peace I felt those three days. There was such a closeness with God, such a fellowship. My MOUTH wasn't getting in the way. This vow may be something that happens again and again until I get it right. I know that I am willing to do whatever God calls me to do, because I am so desperate to be like Him and to be close to Him.
My precious and loving Father, thank you for what you are doing in me. Thank you for loving me enough to spend time on me and change me. Thank you for being patient and long suffering with me. Thank you for blessings I DO NOT deserve. And most of all, thank you for my precious Jesus, who took my cross and died in my place, but who overcame death and the grave and rose again, for me, so that I can spend forever with you!! I love you!!
I am going to be completely honest, day three was HARD!! I was getting on my own nerves with the whispering. My kids were constantly saying, "Mom, can you please just TALK to us?" Ha... There were a few "accidents" where I talked. One was at Family Christian Book store. I am not proud of the moment, and it was definitely an "aha" moment. I felt like when I got in the car God was saying, "and THAT is why I wanted you to take this vow". What was said is not a big deal, but the gist is that two ladies at the register where having a conversation, and without even THINKING about it, I interjected my two cents. (neither one of them asked, and then after I had my say, they both looked at me with the expression of, "who asked you?") When the moment was over, I was so ashamed. However, I got it. I saw the sin, and I learned from the situation. My opinion does not always have to heard. In fact, most of the time it doesn't. Unless someone has specifically asked for it and I have prayed about how to respond. So many times I think, "Oh, I really need to tell them what I think about this!" But truly, I don't. In fact, none of us do. The Bible only talks about using The Word for correction a few times, while it talks about "loving you neighbor" and "using your words for good" all throughout. I definitely worry too much about letting everyone know my OPINION and not enough about letting them know what God's word says! I do not always have to be talking just to talk.
I really do not believe I ever realized just how much of my sin revolved around my mouth. I know last blog I mentioned about "praising and cursing" coming out of the same mouth, and interrupting people while they are talking to me. This last day, laziness was another aspect that was brought to light. I didn't realize how much I "hollered" for people. "SAMANTHA, BRING ME _____." "MCKAIN, WHAT DID YOU SAY?" "PARKER, YOU BETTER COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!" What a lazy bones I am! Well, when you are taking a "vow of semi-silence", you cannot yell for people, so I had to get up ALOT!
I am walking away from this "vow" different. Maybe others can't see as much on the outside, but there is a big difference on the inside, and I know in time, it will work it's way out. I honestly wish I could still whisper. I cannot describe the peace I felt those three days. There was such a closeness with God, such a fellowship. My MOUTH wasn't getting in the way. This vow may be something that happens again and again until I get it right. I know that I am willing to do whatever God calls me to do, because I am so desperate to be like Him and to be close to Him.
My precious and loving Father, thank you for what you are doing in me. Thank you for loving me enough to spend time on me and change me. Thank you for being patient and long suffering with me. Thank you for blessings I DO NOT deserve. And most of all, thank you for my precious Jesus, who took my cross and died in my place, but who overcame death and the grave and rose again, for me, so that I can spend forever with you!! I love you!!
Friday, April 6, 2012
Day 2 of the Vow of Semi-Silence....
Okay, so number one thing I learned today is I talk A TON!! I really do not believe I ever realized just how much my day consisted of me talking. It has been so nice to hear what others have to say for a change. I am not saying that I never listened to people before, but usually, I was just waiting til they took a breath so I could say what I wanted to say. (ugly confession #1) I am always telling the kids "when you are talking to someone and you want to say something, count 3 Mississippi's once they have stopped, and then begin speaking" (yes dad, I was listening :) ) Too bad I am not practicing this one anymore!!
So much of what I have been trying to teach the kids over the past few months about their mouths is EXACTLY what I need to learn. Another example...
James 3:10 "From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so"
(I think this is where we get the term "Kiss your mother with that mouth?"... Ha) I am always telling my kids you cannot say something hateful one minute and something sweet the next and expect the nice thing you said to have any affect. For me, this is a "Praise your Father with that mouth?" kinda problem. My no talking, also includes no singing (ouch). As I was listening to praise and worship in the car with the kids, all these words I just typed came to my mind. All the time I am praising my Jesus, my Creator, and my Comforter. Always telling Him "thank you" and worshiping who He is. But out of that very same mouth, I am complaining, whining, disrespecting others (my husband mainly...ugly confession #2), yelling, grumbling, etc.... the ugly list goes on and on. These things cannot be so. I cannot have both things come out of my mouth and expect God to inhabit my praises. Uggg, why does it take me so long to learn these lessons?? Now I am by no means saying that I have now mastered this problem and it will never happen again... by NO means. But I am aware of it now, and I do know that if I want to be in the presence of the Almighty and if I want Him to respond to my words, I better watch them carefully!!
There are just no words to express the joy in my heart today. I have had to speak some, to my grandparents, to the people at the garden nursery where I bought the organic vegetables we are planting tomorrow! (yay!!) And a couple of other times....But when I speak, it is different. It isn't much and it is with careful humility, because I know I am supposed to be honoring a vow and I so desperately want God to bless it!
My continued prayer my gracious and loving Father is that you will change me. Give me a heart like yours and a love like yours. When people look at me, I want it to be You they see!
So much of what I have been trying to teach the kids over the past few months about their mouths is EXACTLY what I need to learn. Another example...
James 3:10 "From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so"
(I think this is where we get the term "Kiss your mother with that mouth?"... Ha) I am always telling my kids you cannot say something hateful one minute and something sweet the next and expect the nice thing you said to have any affect. For me, this is a "Praise your Father with that mouth?" kinda problem. My no talking, also includes no singing (ouch). As I was listening to praise and worship in the car with the kids, all these words I just typed came to my mind. All the time I am praising my Jesus, my Creator, and my Comforter. Always telling Him "thank you" and worshiping who He is. But out of that very same mouth, I am complaining, whining, disrespecting others (my husband mainly...ugly confession #2), yelling, grumbling, etc.... the ugly list goes on and on. These things cannot be so. I cannot have both things come out of my mouth and expect God to inhabit my praises. Uggg, why does it take me so long to learn these lessons?? Now I am by no means saying that I have now mastered this problem and it will never happen again... by NO means. But I am aware of it now, and I do know that if I want to be in the presence of the Almighty and if I want Him to respond to my words, I better watch them carefully!!
There are just no words to express the joy in my heart today. I have had to speak some, to my grandparents, to the people at the garden nursery where I bought the organic vegetables we are planting tomorrow! (yay!!) And a couple of other times....But when I speak, it is different. It isn't much and it is with careful humility, because I know I am supposed to be honoring a vow and I so desperately want God to bless it!
My continued prayer my gracious and loving Father is that you will change me. Give me a heart like yours and a love like yours. When people look at me, I want it to be You they see!
My "sorda" vow of silence
Well, the Lord has definitely taken me on a new adventure this week.... A "semi" vow of silence! For those of you who know me, you know this has got to be good....and interesting. Have you ever heard it said, "Be careful what you ask for?" Well, I am living that right now!
Yesterday morning, during my quiet time, I started writing in my prayer journal. Like most times, I was asking God to change me, make me more like Him. I was asking Him to give me a love and patience for my children like He has for me. I was asking Him to use me more right where I am. I was telling Him, "I want to be more like You, so when others see me or hear me, they actually see You".
To take you back a little ways, my prayer, for as long as I have known it was a problem, was for God to help me control my anger with my children. I have just desperately needed God's help to not let their disobedience and disrespect affect me the way it does, so that I can correct them in love and teach them about God's love. How God loves us NO MATTER who we are or what we do. But how can they know God's love, if my love is so hard to see? If I am impatient and mean when they are "bad", how can they understand unconditional love? That's not unconditional, it's conditional. I am not saying they do not need to be disciplined, they do. What I am saying, is that I need to learn how to discipline IN LOVE.
Not only have I wanted to be a better mother, but a better friend, not just to my friends, but to my extended family. I have asked God to change me to have a heart like His. A heart that does for others not because they deserve what I am doing, but because Christ did for me, when I definitely did not deserve it. (and then Wednesday night at church the message was on the "Good Samaritan" from Luke 10, which was more conformation God was speaking to me)
Yesterday morning when I was praying, and writing, all the verses that I have been teaching my kids kept flooding my heart. Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Philippians 2:14 "Do all things without murmurings and disputings:" Romans 12:10-21 (which I had them memorize) and so many more verses about the tongue, about lying, about how we speak to one another, about being a peacemaker, and about controlling our spirit. These verses where flooding my spirit like a wave. God's sweet voice whispering to me, "This is what you need". So I was talking to God, asking Him, begging Him really, to help me be that person and do what these verses say. And just as sweet and just as quietly I heard the whisper, "Your mouth". In that conversation of my searching for what God wanted me to do with "my mouth", I felt very strongly that not using it for a time will help me learn to control it. Not only will it help me control my tongue, but it will teach me to be a better listener as well. After my prayer, I felt confident that Jesus is starting this in me the day before His crucifixion for a reason and that I may begin talking on the day of His resurrection for a reason as well. What better day for me to stop talking and start reflecting on who I am in Christ?? And then what better day to begin talking again than on the day of new beginnings and new births? On the day my Jesus rose for me? To save me? I am completely humbled and honored to take this "semi" vow of silence, so that Jesus can teach me, so that I may listen for His voice, and so that I can be more like Him and less like me.
(And it is a "semi" because I am whispering when necessary....I do home-school my children so I felt confident that God was okay with me whispering. Yesterday was a great test... There was so much I wanted to say, but couldn't because either someone couldn't hear me, or whispering was just annoying....I did however, have to teach co-op yesterday so I had to talk for that, but this is a journey, and the point is that I am learning and God is changing me.... another reason it is a "semi" :))
I do ask for your prayers during this endeavor. Prayers that God will continue to change me and that He will give me the ability to "hold my tongue".
Forever His,
Michelle
Yesterday morning, during my quiet time, I started writing in my prayer journal. Like most times, I was asking God to change me, make me more like Him. I was asking Him to give me a love and patience for my children like He has for me. I was asking Him to use me more right where I am. I was telling Him, "I want to be more like You, so when others see me or hear me, they actually see You".
To take you back a little ways, my prayer, for as long as I have known it was a problem, was for God to help me control my anger with my children. I have just desperately needed God's help to not let their disobedience and disrespect affect me the way it does, so that I can correct them in love and teach them about God's love. How God loves us NO MATTER who we are or what we do. But how can they know God's love, if my love is so hard to see? If I am impatient and mean when they are "bad", how can they understand unconditional love? That's not unconditional, it's conditional. I am not saying they do not need to be disciplined, they do. What I am saying, is that I need to learn how to discipline IN LOVE.
Not only have I wanted to be a better mother, but a better friend, not just to my friends, but to my extended family. I have asked God to change me to have a heart like His. A heart that does for others not because they deserve what I am doing, but because Christ did for me, when I definitely did not deserve it. (and then Wednesday night at church the message was on the "Good Samaritan" from Luke 10, which was more conformation God was speaking to me)
Yesterday morning when I was praying, and writing, all the verses that I have been teaching my kids kept flooding my heart. Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Philippians 2:14 "Do all things without murmurings and disputings:" Romans 12:10-21 (which I had them memorize) and so many more verses about the tongue, about lying, about how we speak to one another, about being a peacemaker, and about controlling our spirit. These verses where flooding my spirit like a wave. God's sweet voice whispering to me, "This is what you need". So I was talking to God, asking Him, begging Him really, to help me be that person and do what these verses say. And just as sweet and just as quietly I heard the whisper, "Your mouth". In that conversation of my searching for what God wanted me to do with "my mouth", I felt very strongly that not using it for a time will help me learn to control it. Not only will it help me control my tongue, but it will teach me to be a better listener as well. After my prayer, I felt confident that Jesus is starting this in me the day before His crucifixion for a reason and that I may begin talking on the day of His resurrection for a reason as well. What better day for me to stop talking and start reflecting on who I am in Christ?? And then what better day to begin talking again than on the day of new beginnings and new births? On the day my Jesus rose for me? To save me? I am completely humbled and honored to take this "semi" vow of silence, so that Jesus can teach me, so that I may listen for His voice, and so that I can be more like Him and less like me.
(And it is a "semi" because I am whispering when necessary....I do home-school my children so I felt confident that God was okay with me whispering. Yesterday was a great test... There was so much I wanted to say, but couldn't because either someone couldn't hear me, or whispering was just annoying....I did however, have to teach co-op yesterday so I had to talk for that, but this is a journey, and the point is that I am learning and God is changing me.... another reason it is a "semi" :))
I do ask for your prayers during this endeavor. Prayers that God will continue to change me and that He will give me the ability to "hold my tongue".
Forever His,
Michelle
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Convictions...
So, I really thought my next blog would be about the tornado. I just cant seem to sit down and write about that yet. Guess it's not time! :)
Again, like many other times when I have "blogged" I was laying in bed, trying to sleep, and the Holy Spirit kept nudging me to get up and write. So, here I am.
I recently read the book, "Kisses from Katie". For those of you who have read this book, you can totally relate to what I am about to write. Those who haven't, you gotta get the book!
I have spent major amounts of time thinking about my life lately. Thinking about my "claim" to be a follower of Christ, yet how much of my life actually SHOWS that I follow him.
Does the house I live in?
Does the car I drive?
Do the clothes I wear?
Does the color of my hair?
Does my makeup?
Does my jewelry?
Do my shoes?
Do my children?
Does my furniture?
Do my decorations in my house?
And my list goes on and on....
I know what some of you are thinking, because I am thinking it too. God blessed me with the money to buy those things, so is it really wrong to buy them? I'm beginning to think, yes, it is. This is why...
How many starving people could I feed and how many orphans could I place with parents on the money I spend on those things? When someone sees me, do they think, "Wow, now that is someone who gives sacrificially to the cause of Christ!" When someone comes in my home, do they think, "Wow, now that is how a sacrificial giver lives!" What does my life say? I know that our motive behind doing things is not supposed to be because of what "others" will say, but that is EXACTLY why we do it! That is exactly why I...
Wear makeup
Color my hair
Dress fashionable
Decorate my house
Drive a nice car
etc, etc, etc...
Now I know that we cannot isolate ourselves from the world and still reach the world! But I also KNOW, that it is possible to exist in this world and sacrifice all these things for the cause of Christ and STILL have a voice!
We, I, as an American, as Americans, have it all wrong!! We have to be different. They have to be able to see Christ in us!
I know that not everyone will agree with me, heck, I am not sure I agree with me! :) It's that flesh, spirit thing that is always plaguing me! But I know the power of conviction when the Holy Spirit is working on me, and boy is He working! What God calls you to do will not be popular with the rest of the world. It will always look "odd" to them. Just look at the examples in history, it speaks for itself....Abraham, Noah, David, Daniel (just to name a few....)
There is something to these convictions.....
Again, like many other times when I have "blogged" I was laying in bed, trying to sleep, and the Holy Spirit kept nudging me to get up and write. So, here I am.
I recently read the book, "Kisses from Katie". For those of you who have read this book, you can totally relate to what I am about to write. Those who haven't, you gotta get the book!
I have spent major amounts of time thinking about my life lately. Thinking about my "claim" to be a follower of Christ, yet how much of my life actually SHOWS that I follow him.
Does the house I live in?
Does the car I drive?
Do the clothes I wear?
Does the color of my hair?
Does my makeup?
Does my jewelry?
Do my shoes?
Do my children?
Does my furniture?
Do my decorations in my house?
And my list goes on and on....
I know what some of you are thinking, because I am thinking it too. God blessed me with the money to buy those things, so is it really wrong to buy them? I'm beginning to think, yes, it is. This is why...
How many starving people could I feed and how many orphans could I place with parents on the money I spend on those things? When someone sees me, do they think, "Wow, now that is someone who gives sacrificially to the cause of Christ!" When someone comes in my home, do they think, "Wow, now that is how a sacrificial giver lives!" What does my life say? I know that our motive behind doing things is not supposed to be because of what "others" will say, but that is EXACTLY why we do it! That is exactly why I...
Wear makeup
Color my hair
Dress fashionable
Decorate my house
Drive a nice car
etc, etc, etc...
Now I know that we cannot isolate ourselves from the world and still reach the world! But I also KNOW, that it is possible to exist in this world and sacrifice all these things for the cause of Christ and STILL have a voice!
We, I, as an American, as Americans, have it all wrong!! We have to be different. They have to be able to see Christ in us!
I know that not everyone will agree with me, heck, I am not sure I agree with me! :) It's that flesh, spirit thing that is always plaguing me! But I know the power of conviction when the Holy Spirit is working on me, and boy is He working! What God calls you to do will not be popular with the rest of the world. It will always look "odd" to them. Just look at the examples in history, it speaks for itself....Abraham, Noah, David, Daniel (just to name a few....)
There is something to these convictions.....
Monday, January 9, 2012
In my journal today...
So today, as I was writing in my prayer journal, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper... "Share this" Well, I wasn't really sure what He meant or if I was just hearing things... (because I do...hear things that is :) ) I thought about my blog, that I totally neglect, and then I thought... Nah.... and I let it go.
Well, my sweet precious "Soul Sista" in Christ (that is what we call each other) ,Mischa, just called me. We were talking about Jesus (which is what we almost always talk about in some way or the other), and I said.. "Oh, I've got to read you what I wrote in my prayer journal this morning".....well, even after I said that, she kept talking...cause that's what she does. :) I listened and then I talked. I told her about Bro Brian's message at church yesterday...which I had the pleasure of hearing twice... (side bar..if that one is on the web site, you have got to hear it...it was a good one!! www.rbconline.net) And then I remembered, My Journal.... I said, "Listen, I want to read you this..." So, I read it... She just sat there a minute and she said.. "Are you going to post this on your blog?" That was so strange. First of all, she hasn't mentioned my blog since the last time I posted on it forever ago, and second of all, it is personal and she is not the kind of person that says "Hey, why dont you tell the world that!!" I laughed... I said "Wow, well, that was from the Holy Spirit." I proceeded to tell her what I felt when I finished writing it this morning.... So here is my journal entry for today, January 9, 2012.
I am so full of the Lord! So sure of who I am and who I want to be in Him! Making my second loaf of bread this morning! :) There is just something spiritial about making your own bread. God is in it! About using those raw ingredients and using your hands to kneed the dough and form it. Reminds me of Christ and our Creator. Who took the raw ingredients and created us! His world that He saw as good!
Sammy's first class was last night. I was so proud of him. So proud to be sitting there beside him. To be the one that gets to call him mine. So thanful to my Creator that when He created Sammy, He had me in mind!
We had a great talk last night. A talk about what God wants for us and our family. What He wants us to do for His kindom, We are in total agreement that it is more, that it is big! Not big in the sense that we will BE something big, but big in the sense that we will have to change our life and make BIG changes for our family. We just want desperately to listen to God's voice and to have no doubts that what we are doing and where we are going is divine and is from Him!!
Lord, I want so much for my life and for my children. Help me with the homeschooling. Show me what matters and what is important. Help me not to worry about little things, but just to make sure the important things are being learned. Show me where the teachable moments are throughtout my day.
The fear lies there in the waiting. I can feel it like a creature in a cave, just waiting to pounceand destroy. Will I ever be completely delivered from the fear? Will I ever have complete peace and assurance? The doubt and the quesions are almost paralizing! Save me from it Lord!!
I desperately want to know more of you Lord. I want to know Jesus! Reveal yourself to me in a mighty way and to my children! Teach us who you are!! Emmerse yourself in our home and our family!! You are welcome here Lord!
#47 Pens that write on paper
#48 Sweet curls on Parkers head
#49 flour that turns into bread!
#50 finger nail clippers
#51 Angels
#52 Quiet time with Samantha
#53 making breakfast for my children
#54 another day to teach them
Help me never to complain or be disappointed or wallow in self-righteousness or unforgiveness! Help me to always remember who I was before Christ and who I would be with out Him!!
(the numbered things are my list of things I am thankful for...my goal is 1000 in 2012 thanks to www.aholyexperience.com)
Not sure who this was for, but God wanted you to hear it!
Well, my sweet precious "Soul Sista" in Christ (that is what we call each other) ,Mischa, just called me. We were talking about Jesus (which is what we almost always talk about in some way or the other), and I said.. "Oh, I've got to read you what I wrote in my prayer journal this morning".....well, even after I said that, she kept talking...cause that's what she does. :) I listened and then I talked. I told her about Bro Brian's message at church yesterday...which I had the pleasure of hearing twice... (side bar..if that one is on the web site, you have got to hear it...it was a good one!! www.rbconline.net) And then I remembered, My Journal.... I said, "Listen, I want to read you this..." So, I read it... She just sat there a minute and she said.. "Are you going to post this on your blog?" That was so strange. First of all, she hasn't mentioned my blog since the last time I posted on it forever ago, and second of all, it is personal and she is not the kind of person that says "Hey, why dont you tell the world that!!" I laughed... I said "Wow, well, that was from the Holy Spirit." I proceeded to tell her what I felt when I finished writing it this morning.... So here is my journal entry for today, January 9, 2012.
I am so full of the Lord! So sure of who I am and who I want to be in Him! Making my second loaf of bread this morning! :) There is just something spiritial about making your own bread. God is in it! About using those raw ingredients and using your hands to kneed the dough and form it. Reminds me of Christ and our Creator. Who took the raw ingredients and created us! His world that He saw as good!
Sammy's first class was last night. I was so proud of him. So proud to be sitting there beside him. To be the one that gets to call him mine. So thanful to my Creator that when He created Sammy, He had me in mind!
We had a great talk last night. A talk about what God wants for us and our family. What He wants us to do for His kindom, We are in total agreement that it is more, that it is big! Not big in the sense that we will BE something big, but big in the sense that we will have to change our life and make BIG changes for our family. We just want desperately to listen to God's voice and to have no doubts that what we are doing and where we are going is divine and is from Him!!
Lord, I want so much for my life and for my children. Help me with the homeschooling. Show me what matters and what is important. Help me not to worry about little things, but just to make sure the important things are being learned. Show me where the teachable moments are throughtout my day.
The fear lies there in the waiting. I can feel it like a creature in a cave, just waiting to pounceand destroy. Will I ever be completely delivered from the fear? Will I ever have complete peace and assurance? The doubt and the quesions are almost paralizing! Save me from it Lord!!
I desperately want to know more of you Lord. I want to know Jesus! Reveal yourself to me in a mighty way and to my children! Teach us who you are!! Emmerse yourself in our home and our family!! You are welcome here Lord!
#47 Pens that write on paper
#48 Sweet curls on Parkers head
#49 flour that turns into bread!
#50 finger nail clippers
#51 Angels
#52 Quiet time with Samantha
#53 making breakfast for my children
#54 another day to teach them
Help me never to complain or be disappointed or wallow in self-righteousness or unforgiveness! Help me to always remember who I was before Christ and who I would be with out Him!!
(the numbered things are my list of things I am thankful for...my goal is 1000 in 2012 thanks to www.aholyexperience.com)
Not sure who this was for, but God wanted you to hear it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)