So, because everyone else is doing it... I thought I would give it a try. Thirty-one post in thirty-one days is going to be quite a challenge for me seeing as how I post once every 6 mths... but I'm gonna give it a go.
I'm not sure if every day will have a topic, or if it is just going to be a journal.
Today is definitely a journal day....
As I type it is 3:03 on Tuesday, Oct 16, 2012. I am being constantly interrupted by children who have not finished their school for the day because they decided to play the day away instead of do their work. That's fine with me, but they hate still doing school after 3 when as they say "Real school kids are done"..... Oh the beauty and joys of homeschool.
The last few weeks of home-school have been very rocky for us. We started out STRONG, but then precious miracle #4 appeared on the scene and decided to make me a WRECK!! I have been exhausted all the day, even with 12 hours of sleep, and nauseous all the time. For a couple of weeks, I had absolutely no appetite. I had to make myself eat and usually what I wanted was JUNK!! Thankfully my appetite has come back along with an ability to function at least 8 hours of the day. I still get very tired, but it's usually after lunch just for an hour or so and then at night around 7 or 8. That's workable!
Parker Wayne turned 3 yesterday. Where did the time go? I have really wanted to enjoy every single second of his babyhood because I feel like I missed so much of the other two's. I have been so blessed to be able to stay at home with him for most of his life and watch how God is developing him into exactly who He created him to be!! He is so articulate with his words. He told me Sunday, "Mom, I can det my tumb to hold down my pinky now, see". He was making the three symbol and was so proud of himself. It's like his brain is ahead of his body sometimes... He knows what he wants to do, he just cant get his body to cooperate. He has quit the passy and is, for the most part, potty trained. (both of these task he accomplished earlier than the other two) He loves to do school with us and ask everyday, even Saturday and Sunday, if he can "do school". He knows his colors and shapes and we are working on letters and numbers. He is great at coloring and even holds his pencil the correct way. He's been doing that for a couple of years. We are still not sure if he is going to be right or left handed as he still uses both for just about everything. He is definitely the joy of our family....can't wait to see how he is with our new blessing!! :)
Spiritually I am in a rut...I've been here for a few weeks now. You know, one of those "weeding out" times when you feel like God is pruning you. Taking out those things that He doesn't like and trying to replace them with more of Himself. (notice I say trying) There has to be some part of us that is willing. I think that has been the struggle, my unwillingness. It's not that consciously I do not want God to change me, because nothing could be further from the truth. But the things about me that He is changing are things that have been a part of who I am for as long as I can remember. Sorta like, "I don't know how to be anything else". I know in the end, God will win and I will be changed and be the better for it, but man is the process painful. These are the times when I feel so far away from Him. When I feel exposed and raw, like the whole world can see my sin because it is written all over me! Don't get me wrong, I am OH SO thankful for these times because 1.) It is proof that He has not given up on me and is STILL working, 2.) I become aware of things I had no idea of and get to watch Him change them and then in return see more of Him and His word, and 3.)There is a mountain-top in my future!! :) Boy are those mountain-tops grand!!
I am so thankful for a forgiving, loving God who has redeemed me back to Himself. I am thankful that the blinders have been taken off my eyes and I am allowed to see my sin and see the truth of who my Creator is. I hurt, deeply hurt, for those who are still blind. Especially for those who are blinded by false truth. The ones who think it is the religion and the practice of that religion that will save them. The ones who think what they are doing and have been doing is their salvation and really have no clue that they are as lost and the atheist debating about the existence of a god.
I am aware of my responsibility to the lost world as a follower of Christ. I am desperately seeking Him and how I can serve Him and my purpose. I beg Him daily to use me, right where I am, or to send me where He needs me. I do not want the blessing of serving Him in this life to pass me by. I want to do all I can for The ONE who gave it all for me.
We must be purposeful on our journey. We must not just live life as though pleasing ourselves and our children is all there is, when in actuality, it's not any of it. Happiness and joy should only come from One Source. This world can not give us anything compared to riches in our Savior. His Word says so.
(Rom 8:18)
That is all for today, until tomorrow....
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