The last day of the vow and now....

I have been meaning to type this since Saturday night, but you know how life gets in the way.

I am going to be completely honest, day three was HARD!!  I was getting on my own nerves with the whispering.  My kids were constantly saying, "Mom, can you please just TALK to us?"  Ha...  There were a few "accidents" where I talked.  One was at Family Christian Book store.  I am not proud of the moment, and it was definitely an "aha" moment.  I felt like when I got in the car God was saying, "and THAT is why I wanted you to take this vow".  What was said is not a big deal, but the gist is that two ladies at the register where having a conversation, and without even THINKING about it, I interjected my two cents.  (neither one of them asked, and then after I had my say, they both looked at me with the expression of, "who asked you?")  When the moment was over, I was so ashamed.  However, I got it.  I saw the sin, and I learned from the situation.  My opinion does not always have to heard.  In fact, most of the time it doesn't.  Unless someone has specifically asked for it and I have prayed about how to respond.  So many times I think, "Oh, I really need to tell them what I think about this!"  But truly, I don't.  In fact, none of us do.  The Bible only talks about using The Word for correction a few times, while it talks about "loving you neighbor" and "using your words for good" all throughout.  I definitely worry too much about letting everyone know my OPINION and not enough about letting them know what God's word says!  I do not always have to be talking just to talk.

I really do not believe I ever realized just how much of my sin revolved around my mouth.  I know last blog I mentioned about "praising and cursing" coming out of the same mouth, and interrupting people while they are talking to me.  This last day, laziness was another aspect that was  brought to light.  I didn't realize how much I "hollered" for people.  "SAMANTHA, BRING ME _____."  "MCKAIN, WHAT DID YOU SAY?"  "PARKER, YOU BETTER COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!" What a lazy bones I am!  Well, when you are taking a "vow of semi-silence", you cannot yell for people, so I had to get up ALOT! 

I am walking away from this "vow" different.  Maybe others can't see as much on the outside, but there is a big difference on the inside, and I know in time, it will work it's way out.  I honestly wish I could still whisper.  I cannot describe the peace I felt those three days.  There was such a closeness with God, such a fellowship.  My MOUTH wasn't getting in the way.  This vow may be something that happens again and again until I get it right.  I know that I am willing to do whatever God calls me to do, because I am so desperate to be like Him and to be close to Him.

My precious and loving Father, thank you for what you are doing in me.  Thank you for loving me enough to spend time on me and change me.  Thank you for being patient and long suffering with me.  Thank you for blessings I DO NOT deserve.  And most of all, thank you for my precious Jesus, who took my cross and died in my place, but who overcame death and the grave and rose again, for me, so that I can spend forever with you!! I love you!!