"Forgotten Blog" meets "Needed somewhere to write this all down"

Oh this thing called life.... With all its ups and downs and ins and outs....

At the end of it all, I want to look back at my life and say, "I tried my best to glorify God in all I did."

To the humanist, and atheist and agnostic, this may seem like such a wasted life.  But to the Christ-follower, there is no other way to live.  And if we are living any other way, then we quite possibly are not following Christ.

In all of us there is this need, this desire, to be accepted, to be loved, to be needed.  God put that there. (whether you acknowledge Him or not) He put it there so we would seek Him out, because when we seek Him, we WILL find Him.  It's a promise. (Jeremiah 29:13, Proverbs 8:17)

But back to this need.... we all search for it in different ways.  We try to find acceptance in the world, with other people, with things, with animals, we surround ourselves with what the "world" has to offer and always end up feeling empty.  Not satisfied.  So we fill ourselves with more things.... and again, emptiness.  It's a viscous cycle.  One that some of us will repeat util we die.  Others of us, however, will surrender.  We give up trying to do it ourselves, and we will allow God to fill us.

This is where true freedom lies.  True Joy.  True Peace.  True Satisfaction.  And in the moments of complete surrender, you can watch God move on your behalf and in your life, and you will be forever changed.

Us Christ followers.... We are not perfect.... No, we are far from it, but what we have realized is just that.  That we are not perfect.  In fact, that we are pretty messed up.  And in desperate, DESPERATE, need of saving.  Saving from ourselves, from our choices, from our consequences, from our mistakes.  Sure, our mistakes make us who we are, but because of what God does with those mistakes.  Because of his promise to work all things together for good for those who are called according to HIS purpose! (Romans 8:28)

It takes humility to be a follower of Christ.  And humility, it is hard to come by these days.  Even among us Christ followers.  Even though we know we need saving, we want it to be on our terms.  Christ tells us to die to ourselves daily.  To take up our cross and follow him.  And to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling....(Acts 17:11, Phil 2:12) I am understanding more and more why this is a daily process. Because that is how quickly we forget who we are and WHO we are following.  Even as people of "The Way", we still try to fill ourselves with the things of this world to satisfy.

I watch myself and my brothers and sisters in the faith, fill ourselves with politics, entertainment, work, fashion, social networking, eating right, exercising, fill in the blank.....  True, these things in and of themselves are harmless, but its when they our idols, more important than our walk with Christ and the thieves of our HUMILITY, that they become a problem.

I will get to the end of the day sometimes and wonder, "How did I get here?"  "At what point in the day did I stop following Christ, and start following my self?"  It happens often, more often than my pride would like to admit to you.  But it happens, A LOT.

(squirrel chase coming...)

And here is a huge part of the problem... We have stopped holding each other accountable.  We have stopped asking the hard questions.... but not because we are lacking in "judgmental" people.  NOOOOOO, we have plenty of those in our "Christ-following" circles.  What we are lacking, is genuine friendships.  True, Iron sharpening Iron, relationships. (Prov 27:17) Relationships where we feel safe.  Safe to be honest, and confident that we will receive honesty in return.  We offer too many opinions and not enough truth from God's Word.  We aren't studying God's Word together anymore and we are just throwing around our opinion about how we think things should be done. (and usually not to the persons face our opinion is about)  It's a shame really.  The name we have given Christ.


(back to the point)
I have come to a place in my life.... A faith place.... Where I know God is moving.... Where He is changing me.  Changing me for His glory, and for His purpose and for His good.

In all honesty, I am afraid.

What God calls us too looks crazy to the rest of the world.

But I AM TIRED OF THE WORLD!!!!

I have tried this world.... over and over and over.... and every time, it leaves me empty.

I just want Jesus.  All of Him.  None of me.

Changes are coming.  And I can't wait!