I've been wanting to write for a while and update everyone on where we are in the process and how our boys are since they left. But, life gets in the way of blogging.... it just does! Ha
Life since they left has been fine, missing something, but okay. Everyone misses them and everything reminds us of them....
I will never eat anything without thinking about them, because each time I do, I pray they are eating. One of the things they both shared with us was that they didn't eat very well. Food seemed to be scarce. They have some meals prepared for them by the orphanage, but they also were given a small amount of money (equiv to about $20 US) each MONTH to buy what they need. Y would say he would buy food and gum and any thing he really NEEDED at the time. I'm constantly praying for their provision while they are away from us.
There really isn't a single thing that I do throughout my day that doesn't remind me of them, from reading my Bible (which always got an eye roll from A...ha), to fixing my coffee (which was always followed by "Y coffee too mommy"), to taking a shower (which I am sure they are NOT doing... Y would shower with his clothes on for the first couple of days until I caught on... He did that because he has to wash his own clothes and he figured he would kill two birds with one stone) (he also told me he showers with eggs when he does because he doesn't have soap but they have plenty of eggs thanks to all their chickens), to riding anywhere in the van (because I had to make a calendar of whose day it was to sit in the front seat with mommy), to going to ANY store where there are things to buy (always their favorite and the source of many of our arguments!! HA), to cooking (because Y loved to help me cook), to bedtime (because telling them goodnight was one of my favorite things because of how excited they were every night for our kiss and hug good night... and I know where they are, no one is tucking them in), to EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN!! They are a part of our family...a missing part!
So as I said in my last post we bought both boys a phone. Well, as of now, neither one of them have them. A's was taken from him by an older boy within the first couple of days back :( and Y, well, who knows what happened to his after his accident.
I have spoken to A once and he seems to be "ok". He said he misses us and wants to come home. I have spoken to him via other children that are with him and they assure me they are looking out for him. He had a hard time making friends but seems to be finally making some now. (He is in an entirely new orphanage) He says school is fine but he is just "very bored to be with me again".... that was a direct translation! Haha!! He also sent me a picture of himself and another boy and said "the boy in the picture wants to know if he can come to America and live with us too."..... Yeah.... heart breaking.... at least it means he is telling good stories about being here!
I haven't spoken to Y since he got out of the hospital. As most of you know already, the day Y returned from Ukraine, as he was exiting the bus, he was hit by a car. He said he had to go to the bathroom really bad so he looked really quick and didn't see a car so he took off and then a car came out of no where. He had a concussion and a brain hemorrhage. He was unconscious for a day or so and in ICU, but he was moved to a regular room about 3 days after the accident and stayed in the hospital about a week. He is back in the orphanage now though and according to the doctors, he will be fine and there will not be any long term effects from the accident.
I cannot even begin to talk about how gracious God was during the whole accident of Y. God had impressed upon me for weeks before Y left to pray for his protection while he was back in Ukraine so I did and I had others pray... Who knows what those prayers did.... It could have been so much worse...He could have died....
When I received the news of his accident, he had already been moved to a regular room and I was able to speak to him, but I can't imagine if I had heard about it when it happened and he was in ICU. For the 2.5 hours between knowing he had been in an accident and talking to him, I experienced grief like I never have in my life. I cried from the depth of my soul. I knew I loved him before, but that day, I realized it was deeper than I knew. I truly love these boys as if I gave birth to them myself. If I had not been able to talk to him and to "know" he was okay, It would have killed me.... I would have been on the FIRST plane to Ukraine and my sister would have gone with me!!
The day I found out was an awful and wonderful day all at the same time. It was awful because of what had happened to my child in another country a world away from me, but it was wonderful to watch God move on behalf of this sweet child in amazing ways!! It was the Tuesday after he returned and I had been trying to call his phone since Friday. I never could get anyone to answer until Sunday morning. I called once and a man answered and he was very agitated. All I could understand him to say was Y no and Machina... (machine is car in Ukrainian)....I called an hour later and a lady answered and she was nicer but still adamant about Y and a car.... I didn't know what to do. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't figure out how to get in touch with him. I messaged the lady who bought him the phone and asked her if she could try and get in touch with him when she got a minute. In the meantime I continued to try and call the phone. It wasnt until Tuesday morning that I got someone to answer... same story again. This time I text Suzette and Heidi and asked them to please have one of their kids call and see if they could understand what the man was saying. I sat and waited very patiently by my phone (right Suzette!! PATIENTLY!) ha... It had been an hour and I hadn't heard anything from her... I knew something was wrong and she was trying to get to the bottom of it before she called... I text her "What's the word?"... She called me and the first thing she said was... "Don't freak out..." I immediately started to cry... Then she proceeded to tell me what the person on the phone said but that we couldn't necessary believe it because it could just be a bad joke and she was trying to get in touch with the orphanage to see if it was true. She told me to just wait and be patient and they would figure this out.... so, that's what I did... NOT!!!
So here is one way God completely provided..... That Sunday before, a man introduced himself to my husband at church. He just walked up, pulled Sammy to the side and said "Hi, I'm ____ and I heard about you and your wife and I am so excited about what y'all are doing. I worked in Ukraine for several years and my wife is from Ukraine. We would love to have dinner with you guys and help you in anyway we can."... Well Tuesday morning was a "...In anyway we can..." to me! As soon as i hung up with Suzette, I called everyone I knew to get his number. I finally tracked him down and was able to speak to his wife. I don't think I will ever be able to truly thank her for how she helped me that day. I was a MESS.... I could barely talk over my panic and crying and my kids BEGGING me to tell them what was going on.... I finally was able to ramble the story out and give her all the info I had, names, phone numbers, locations, etc.... She left me with an "Okay, I am going to need some time, but I will find him and I will find out what has happened. I will talk to you soon." It was like in that moment she had known me my entire life and she was experiencing my pain with me...
In the meantime my dear friend Stephanie had called me and I just blurted "y has been hit by a car... can you come over".... Like always, she dropped what she was doing to help me. She was there in what seemed like seconds... time moved so slow and so fast all at the same time that day.
At this time, I still didn't know he was ok. I was planning out in my head how I was going to get the money to get to Ukraine. 'Who could I beg to give me money and take care of my babies while I was gone? Who could go with me? How was I going to burry a child in another country without my friends and family?' (yeah, I went there)....
About 2 hours (the LONGEST two hours of my life) after we hung up... The angel whom God placed in my path a few days before for this very purpose, called back. Her news was brief and almost as devastating as the first news I received. She said she was able to confirm with his orphanage that he was indeed hit by a car, but that he was "Okay with just some bumps and bruises" She said they were so vague she knew there was more, but they wouldn't give her anymore information. They wouldn't even tell her what hospital he was in. Well, that didn't stop her. She said she just "had a feeling" about which hospital he was in so she called it and low and behold, it was the right one! (what?!?! insert a huge God moment here...) The only information she could get from the hospital at the time, was that he was there, but he was in Emergency which according to her was bad news. She said in "emergency" you are receiving serious care and you cannot have visitors or phone calls. She said it did not sound good. God love her... I completely lost it... I couldn't stand up, or see, and I was pretty sure I was going to stop breathing. She assured me she wasn't going to give up even though they had told her she couldn't get anymore information until tomorrow. (Who IS this lady?!?!) She let me go so she could continue to call.
I don't have to tell you how I was after that... You can just imagine the worst... That was me... My kids were amazing... they each just hugged me and sat with me and brought me tissue and rubbed my back. They would say things like "mommy, I know he is okay, I just KNOW it".... I have amazingly sweet kids....
She finally called back about 30 minutes later... thank GOD!! The first thing she said was, "I spoke to him, and he is okay".... Of course I lost it again.... This time out of sheer gratitude! She said the first thing he said was, "How is my mommy, does she know I am okay?".... She said he was sitting by the phone waiting on my call so for me to call right away. Well of course I called, but I didn't even think about how I was going to talk to him, let alone ASK for him... thank goodness he was sitting by the phone... the lady that answered said to him, "Y, lady Americana" Ha... How'd she know?? He said hello and I said hello and we both immediately began crying.... His voice was the sweetest thing I had ever heard on the other end of a phone before.... He was alive and he was okay!! The conversation quickly ran out seeing as how I don't speak Russian or Ukrainian and he doesn't know very much English! haha... so, I asked him to wait one minute and I put him on hold and called Suzette! She was almost home but not yet so I explained what was going on and then clicked back over to Y. She talked to him for a second and then when she got home, she put us on speaker phone and Y, me Suzette and all of her Ukrainian kids talked on the phone!! It was quite an experience but one I will NEVER forget and will be forever grateful for.... Y'all, if you only knew Suzette's heart for these kids.... It's really as big as the sky.... Y'all head on over to Grace to Ukraine on Facebook and check out what amazing things they are doing!! (shameless plug)
I was able to talk to Y every day that he was in the hospital! Thanks to some other precious Ukrainian kids that belong to another dear friend Heidi and to some precious Ukrainian translators... God provided someone every day! It was wonderful. He also provided an angel who lives in Ukraine to go and visit Y twice while he was there and take him treats and take pictures for me. God provided in endless ways for him and me during that time....
It has been sad not being able to talk to him, but others have been checking on him for me and I am thankful for that.
I just want them home.
Life isn't the same without them here.
We are almost finished with the home study process of our adoption which is a BIG part of the process. To finish it up, we need to pay another $2200. We are about $500 away from meeting that goal, but I know God will provided it! He has provided every penny up to this point and I know he will continue to do so. As soon as we complete the home study, we can begin to apply for grants which will hopefully fill in a big chunk of the 45k we still need :)
We have had so many people step up to do fundraisers it is absolutely overwhelming. My sweet friend Tina started our Facebook page and is hosting a Christmas craft fair at our church on Nov 22. My sweet friend Stephanie is hosting a yard sale at her house on Oct 10 and 11. Our precious friend Matthew is running the entire month of October in the "Minus One Run" that he started last year for the adoption of his daughter Vivi, and he is donating all proceeds to us (just heard about this a few minutes ago)... Other people have offered fundraisers and other ways they want to help us raise money.....In addition to the many people who have stepped up and have given money. We are beyond moved by all of your help!
Please continue to share our story and help get the word out so others can give and help us get our boys home quickly!!!
Most of all, continue to pray... Your prayers are what keep us going!!!
If I can assure you of anything about this entire journey it is that God is right here in the middle of it with us. I haven't doubted Him one single time. We have been thrown some major curve balls. But every time God leaves me with the assurance that we are right where we are supposed to be and right where He put us. I am so thankful for the version of the gospel I can see now. That is what this is al about anyway right?? The gospel? Isn't that what EVERYTHING is about? The adoption of us into the family of God. The price he paid for that adoption, and how all He ask of us in return is to love Him and love others. Not the kind of love we think of, selfish, self righteous love, but real genuine love... 1 Cor 13 love. (It's no coincidence the kids and I started memorizing it back in May) Truly thinking of others above ourselves. It's not easy, but it is necessary, if we truly want to see God's heart and experience Him. Only in our humility can He rest on us. Only in our weakness can He be strong. Only in our brokenness can we be made whole. I'm thankful for how humiliating this process has been for me. I want Him to continue to break me down.... less of me and more of Him. It's a painful, beautiful journey and I cannot wait to see where He will take us next.....
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